It is Spring while I write this, and I cannot help but try to define what that means. Spring is a season of change, like certain wines it starts off kind of… meh, but finishes with a really pleasant taste. Early spring can be miserable, cold and wet to the bone. It’s grey and windy, but also smells of earth and warm promises.
Oh, look there! Sun! I run outside, cheer, smile. I sink into YES. It’s over we can relax and enjoy the outdoors again. Then, as soon as I get all filled with peace and joy, as if on cue cold grey skies rain on my parade. Late spring is like a celebration of youth and rejuvenation. Precious warmth, longer days, flowers, color, sex, and rebirth. THIS is the lasting impression that leaves me thinking I love this season.
I do love spring, but when it is here in my face and I have to live it, I find myself complaining. I Look out the door on cold mornings and think ugh, I don’t want to do this today. I sneeze, my joints ache, and I go between grumpily wearing my dirty winter coat or defiantly getting caught out in the cold with too little clothing. It’s uncomfortable. As I drive along and switch my sunglasses off and the wipers on I think, “Isn’t all change kinda like that”?
Isn’t all worthwhile change difficult, uncomfortable, and filled with little failures?
Change is necessary in order to live a life in that moment of eternal sunshine. To have the pleasure and freedom of summer, we must change, or face an eternal winter.
I have failed at three careers, succeeded in one, and am now working on my fifth dream. That question of “What do you want to be when you grow up?” now seems like a cruel joke that cannot be answered. This time feels right though, It feels like spring is starting to get the upper hand. Flowers in my life are starting to grow buds. It still rains a lot and It’s cold, and I am so very very scared, but I am putting myself out there, because I believe that I can work in a career that allows me to be financially comfortable AND fulfilled by how I spend my days.
Spring is a time where winter and summer are staging an epic battle for the season, with each taking the upper-hand for a week or so. Sometime the wintry weather wins the day, but summer keeps trying, and summer always wins. Always. Sometimes old habits win the day or week, but we must keep trying. What ever the goal, when quality of life is at stake we must never give up. We must never settle for a job we hate, a prescription that we will have to take the rest of our lives, or a lifestyle that leaves us worn out and depressed.
Setting goals to achieve a better happier life is a battle of old habits, default behaviors, and the easy road of complacency, against the will power to do uncomfortable work to reach a beautiful place. A battle to look in the mirror and say: “I failed. This sucks, and I deserve better. I can be and do better. This is a setback, but I WILL heal myself, I WILL lose weight, I WILL not sit by and let life happen to me. I will happen to it. This is my year. No matter how many times it snows, summer will get here. No matter how many times I fail, I will succeed in the end.”
There is more than one way to cook a goose, and let me tell you, a great many of those ways are disgusting and inedible. You have to keep trying. Find a way that tastes good. Find what works for you, or you will starve and finish your days in an eternal winter. Let’s work together to forgive the slip ups and find summer hand in hand.