Grief, Forgiveness, Pure Love.
The concept of Forgiveness and emotions of the Second Chakra, Anahata.
The more I begin to cross reference eastern and western philosophies, the more I come across the concept that the main teachings of Jesus Christ were all about the 4th Chakra. Forgive one another. Do not judge. Love thy Neighbor. Find your divine purpose. It’s all there. Yet if the teacher is lost, and the concept is muddied, then it all just seems to be stories meant to chastise and keep us in line.
Forgiveness became one of those words that I realized I knew nothing about. Forgiveness. I forgive you. Does that just mean that I am being the bigger person, and promise to no longer seek vengeance? That the grief you have caused upon me and my loved ones gets a free pass? That I am just supposed to turn the other cheek and let the hits keep on coming? No.
There is no healing in that.
It is not about burying your feelings, or “getting over it”. It is not about telling the person that they are excused. It is much more personal then that.
Forgiveness is about SELF LOVE. The idea that you LOVE YOURSELF so much, that you no longer let that person’s actions hurt you. That you release their power over you. That you step back take your heart from their hurtful hands, step back far enough, that your heart can expand around and outside of the situation, and love is replaced with vengeance.
Step ONE: Love Yourself.
“If you can’t love yourself, you can’t love anyone else.” And if you can’t love anyone else, how the heck are you going to forgive them? So let’s get down and gritty and really love ourselves. Not with treats and rewards, but by having the courage to listen to what your body and soul really wants.
What are the deeper messages from your emotional sufferings?
You may find that big life changes are necessary to your well being. Sit with yourself, and really think about it. Sometimes the kindest things we can do for ourselves look the worst on paper.
Step TWO: See Outside the Pain.
Our wounds only hurt us. Our sufferings are pains only we are experiencing. Yes we may have a shared experience with someone. But that experience is all our own. A focus on hating someone, festering, and plotting your revenge… All that pain and stress is only felt by you. The person you were hurt by, most likely was not hurt, still are not hurt, and are not hurt by our thoughts. By holding on to this pain, you continue to ALLOW THEM to hurt you. They have all of the cards. So see that it is you that is now causing the pain and stop hurting yourself. Stop letting them hurt you. Release your attachment to the wound. Stop being a victim. See that it is separate.
Now look at how you use this wound. Do you get power over others from talking about it? Do you gain special treatment when you bring it up? Are you holding onto wounds for the perks?
Step THREE: Release
There is good inside of all people, and the is good inside of every situation.
Each of life’s challenges is a lesson in some kind of love. What was the lesson in this incident that you are still hurt by? What is the lesson from this person who continues to hurt you? What is it all trying to teach you? Find the good.
Focus on this lesson, this good spot, and throw the rest away releasing it’s hold on you. Some hurts may do well with an official ceremony. Burn pictures, ask for a prayer from a priest, do something as a representation of the release and new beginning. Addressing the person is not needed, though closure may be a nice thing. Be sure to not blame, and attack, nor to use this as an opportunity to shame the other person and perpetuate the pain cycle.
Step FOUR: Love
Love and cherish yourself. “Leave the dead and get on with your life” – Jesus. Don’t rehash, leave the past in the past. Forgive and Let Go. Enter all altercations with a bubble of love for yourself, and a gentle heart for the aggressor. Breathe, and don’t take attacks personally.
Forgiveness as an act of letting go, and loving yourself.